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Gestalt

by Ryan Sambol

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1.
I hope I have something special. Then I was handed a four hundred million year old stone. I was crushed with the load, I threw it in the road, where it landed and roared “You still have to try even though you’ll die a million times!” According to this guy, I haven’t seen the greatest movie of all time. I didn’t have the art to tell’m I was blind. I saw him look but I heard no reply. 'I’ve never lied.’ If only that room had had a window. Maybe things would of stayed more peaceful. You know now I gotta go out and meet another stranger. Let’s raise money for each other sometime, If the need arose it’d be good to know. You’re still lovable to someone. Even if you haven’t talked, haven’t met, even when you don’t love ‘em back. You’re still lovable to someone.
2.
I talk a good game. Like everyone else. Hands feeling thin. I forgot we’re in love. We met in the comments of one of our favorite singer’s songs. We felt we had accomplished something new and young in the ways of love. Our parents never had to ask a question like that. But we can stand the test ‘cause what choice do we have. If we wanna last.
3.
'All My Friends Are Going To Be Strangers’ I was reading at the time. It never feels like it’s getting better when you’re doing your time. Sometimes you feel a day ahead. Sometimes a week behind. But a year to the day... a minute of our love takes a decade. Approaching storm blues Your dog knows before you. If you had any room to talk I’m sure they’d let you sing. The southern most tree The great compassion The reformed demons of Del Valle I feel at home knowing they’ll all have me.
4.
Big Text 02:20
What a mess I want to make with you. My kinda song. One you can scream inside as a lifetime says hello. They’ll always like you, when you’re good. They’ll always ask you, when they feel you tell the truth. It’s like when we’re sleeping our cars hangout and drive around. Maybe I don’t want the dream, maybe I do but I don’t want to tell.
5.
What martyr was worth it? And then I thought, ‘Bums lose a lot’. I should know because I’m one, but losers never win. Eyes full of crime, a criminal sight. Have more sense then your own five. I was holding a plank On soft carpet in the apartment of a friend. Who finds all our troubles funny. If something feels wrong, then it probably is. But don’t confuse excitement with sin. There are things to be doing.
6.
At that time There was nothing such as a different sky. In that place Nothing was good, no thought was safe. We’d talked of the act and often laughed But the joke always ended with, “Well we know we can’t do that.” Overpowered in the kitchen as the desert night fell. With a dark horizon all to himself. What help is love, what good is health When it can’t be shared and it can’t be felt? I’d like to think we know much more when we go and that we leave our pain behind. It’d be nice to believe that he’d never leave without a plan in mind. But at that time There was nothing such as a different sky.
7.
8.
By my mother’s Chinese evergreen that’s been alive since ’95. Sitting there with tears in my ears 'cause I wanna laugh all the time. I noticed they’re changing the speed limits all over town. I’m worried because I’ve never known him to have legal tags on any car he’s owned. I hope you live long enough to see. Just what it is here you like to eat. And that without your eyes your love is realized. Drinking from tomato sauce and jelly jam jars. I heard him say, "I’ll make this house a home or you can find me at the bar." And, "If you ever meet somebody like me, please introduce us. I think I know just what they’ll say but I’d like to ask anyway." Hope you live long enough to know. What it feels like to belong. And that when you’re alone your love is realized. She’s a picture of happiness but she doesn’t photograph well. Guess you’ll have to take my word till she comes around. I feel strong from the breakfast she made, Like I may never have to eat again. Humbled, full and safe. Hope I live long enough to try. To help someone as much as you helped me that time. And that while I’m alive my love is realized.
9.
His Aim 03:10
Blue polarized shades on a dark face And what love can do to a house. Seamless robes on purple posts I’ve stopped guessing out loud. His Aim deceives the wounded he leaves but he gave it a shot. Watching the world’s horrors and pain At home on your phone’s screen. When the cameras turn and the roles reversed Will the terror feel rehearsed? His aim deceives the wounded he leaves at least he’s not a cop, but he coulda fooled me. I like when pots break And the soil and shape remain the same. I couldn’t help but think that roots hold fastest unseen And that I have a lot of freckles that look like fleas. His aim deceives the dead he leaves and I hope he never sees me for his but it is what it is. So repeat after no one, Anything bad about me is something bad I’ve kept. Anything good about me is something good I was given.

credits

released February 1, 2021

For Marc Sambol, Philip Sambol and Greg Enlow

All songs written and performed by Ryan Sambol
Recorded by Andrew McCalla
Except track 4 recorded by Kevin Dehan
Mastered by Rob Barbato
Photo by Andrea Calo
in Austin, Texas 2020

Thanks to
Jessica McFarland, Andy Krissberg, Lou Crisitello and John Schneider
Lee Powell and Wofford Denius

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Ryan Sambol Texas

North American singer songwriter poet
born in New Jersey and raised in Texas...

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